Is there ever a good heart break? I think so. I vividly remember after Zoë was born I found myself crying (not the sad, ugly cry), but because I loved her so much it hurt. I couldn’t believe how my heart literally felt like it broke a little. In that moment I know the small break made me stronger. It made my love grow deeper and wider. Growing requires something to break. The seed bursts open, the sprout breaks the ground, out of brokenness comes new life.
I think about the Grinch. His heart had to break before it could grow three times it size. He had to see beyond himself and look into the eyes of the Whoville people to allow for his heart to break for them. In a small way I think he had to look himself in the mirror. We all face our own inner struggles. I think it’s up to us to get to know our struggle. When we dig a little deeper we get to know ourselves in a new way. We get to befriend our self. Once we get acquainted we can put down all of the masks and just be true to ourselves. Reality is we never really fool anyone. Now as I look around I see people, like really see people. People as human beings that face their very own battles. In these moments my heart breaks for them in a good way. I realize I am no better than anyone and no one is any better than me. There is this well of compassion that springs up. We are all in this together.
I see so much potential in embracing all the heart breaks. It’s all apart of the process. And in the process you really get to know yourself. If we want to see others and ourselves in light of our uglies we have to be the very change we want. When I find myself frustrated with others, I feel this tug deep down that begs me to ask what in my heart needs to change. I have to dig down and expose the root and I have to be honest with myself and face my own uglies (pride, jealousy, selfishness) When I actually deal with my own issues I can move forward. Then and only then am I able to see people clearly. And boy have I been surprised by the beauty I see and I am able to cherish others. I will never take that for granted. I was talking with a teacher friend and we came to the same conclusion, it takes a heart to see past labels and boxes to truly see a person for who they are then it takes even more heart to celebrate the good in them.
When we stop trying so hard and we’re able to move past our own problems we can truly experience life. Each break requires a stitch. The healing process from each break leads to a new strength. It’s a risk to allow yourself to truly experience the good heart breaks. We all experience the tough breaks or the rough breaks. What I know is that I don’t want to be the same person tomorrow as I was today. It’s not about allowing things to just happen, but to let them impact me positively no matter what it is. It feels as if with every small break something old and yucky is being chipped away. That my true heart is being exposed instead of the callouses that life has given me. I truly believe that there is beauty in small beginnings.
I have had several small moments that have broken my heart in good ways. As I move forward in life I want to take in these small moments with a grateful heart. I want to see the small heart breaks as moments for me to grow. When Zoë started kindergarten my heart broke seeing her fall in love with learning. When I see Zoë and Grey love on each other my heart melts. When Grey say’s he needs me, my heart breaks. When I learn something new about myself my heart cracks a little. This year I want to take a chance and chase after the matters of the heart, by challenging myself to new experiences, to be a lover of souls, not square moments. So I welcome the heart breaks and the growth and the new perspective.
These words speak life into me.
“So no matter how the wind blows today, keep calm and be kind: When things become hard, wise hearts stay soft.
Solving a problem can’t ever trump loving a person.
So today, simply:
Rise to whatever comes to you, go to wherever you’re sent, give however your soul knows how, and give thanks whenever you breathe.”
–Ann Voskamp
It is well with my Soul 