My Best Ideas

Welp I posted my 100th post. It only took me 100 moments to finally get to this point in my life. A lot has happened in between, but one of the things I have known and started sitting with more and more is that I get a lot of ideas and thoughts in the shower. It’s my place. Some people have a big comfy chair or a little nook, maybe a porch or go on walks or runs. I get my best ideas in the shower. It’s where I’m most vulnerable. A lot of decisions have been made in the shower. A lot of conversations and sometimes just drawing on the glass. Some of the thoughts are fleeting and others stick around and sink in as I go. So I’ve decided to share some of my recent thoughts and reflections from the shower. 

I recently saw the movie Black Panther. Side note if you go to the drive in may the force be with you, the battery force that is. Otherwise you might miss something. Ha! But in the event that all is restored and you are able to finish the film you may catch the end where K’Jadaka takes over (we all know this happens, no spoilers). But that’s not the part I’m referring to. There is this scene between W’Kabi and Okoye. She draws her spear against him and he asks, “will you kill me?” and she replies “yes for the throne I will.” Super loosely translated, but essentially that’s what goes down. I don’t know why that scene stayed with me, but it did. As I thought about it some more. We are all responsible for guarding our hearts. They can so easily be lead astray. It should always be our goal to protect it especially when it belongs to someone else. It’s ultimately our choice to kill anything that comes against the throne because real loyalty isn’t to ourselves or others, but to who the throne rightfully belongs to. If we don’t and we allow other people or things to sit on the throne then ultimately we give up our loyalty and we follow the next thing until it leads to the next thing and the next person. It’s a conscious choice to stand up or to fall for anything. We all know that’s true. It’s universal no matter how you look at it. So I guess we all just have to decide where our loyalty lies and what are we willing to sacrifice in the pursuit to guard the throne.

I had another thought hit me the other day and it comes up a lot. When I got my first car my parents told me it will get you from point A to point B, code it wasn’t the fanciest car. Haha! But it did what they said it would do, but they didn’t say how? Yes the wheels turned, but the more I think about it I could have listened to music or driven in silence. I could have taken the scenic route or the direct route. I could have the heat on or the A/C on (we all know I had the A/C on). But the reality is we are always going to get from point A to point B. It’s just a matter of how. What will our attitude be, what experiences will we have, will we go in circles, turn left, or right. The truth is we get to decide those things, but no matter what we will get from point A to point B.

Last thought, HAPPINESS…the elusive feeling of happiness. You know what would make me happy? Eating ALL the doughnuts and tacos and pizza every day, every meal. Ooh and pancakes too. You know what would make me really happy is if I could move to Eatly, oh I mean Italy. I want to just travel and eat. That would make me happy. But you know what, it would lead to me being really FAT and happy for a second, then I would have to eat another doughnut to make me feel happy again. Oh wait I have lived that life! Not in Italy, but I have pursued what makes me happy for a second and then I had to find another thing to make me happy again and again. And it really just lead to me being unhappy. Blah! There were other things in my life that made me happy and those are the things I choose to cling to. And even then I have to be careful to not let those things define my happiness. True happiness comes from within. It’s your attitude that defines your altitude. I can’t buy into the philosophy that my happiness is all that matters. At the end of the day my happiness can make me happy, but it could also destroy me. It could hurt those around me. It could cost someone else their happiness. Then I’m left asking myself was it really worth it? If I have to ask myself that question, it probably wasn’t. Eating one more doughnut would make me really happy, but would I live to regret it eventually. I can confidently say yes. Being healthy makes me happy. Making wise and healthy decisions makes me happy too. I do have the occasional doughnut, but it doesn’t define my happiness like it used to.

Does one thing or another make us happy? An unhealthy thing makes me happy, and being healthy makes me happy too. What does it matter what I choose? I have to believe it matters. That I can be happy choosing good things that not only prosper me, but also bring about goodness in others lives. If we always choose the things that make us happy and only us then what are we left with at the end of the day?

Do circumstances define our happiness? I have to say no. For most people it’s yes, but I can’t imagine always using or expecting others to make me happy. If that’s the case then I should be one miserable hot mess! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been a hot mess, but I have to fight for my own happiness despite my circumstances and that comes from within. We all want to be happy, but we can’t just expect happiness to show up on our door and invite itself in each and everyday. If you can’t find happiness deep down inside you then maybe your happiness starts with you. The great thing is that if you have your own happiness then my best guess is you will be excited to bring happiness in others lives instead of stealing others happiness for yourself. It’s the whole idea that one thing perpetuates itself (hate breeds hate, and love breeds love). You can’t have both, I know first hand it doesn’t work that way, at least not the everlasting kind. The temporary of course! But who wants that. I want the stuff that surpasses all circumstances.

What makes you happy? Things, people, activities, and maybe more importantly what’s the cause and effect of your happiness?

Oh and my best guess is all of these random thoughts are interrelated. Hmmm.