Strike a pose

Can we talk about fashion for one second?…Ok so I just caught myself thinking why in the world did I buy this shirt. Now it’s a shirt that has been retired to the pajama section, but non the less I wondered allowed why did I buy this shirt and instantly thought, “girl you were trying to cover up so much with that shirt.” Lately I have been seeing a lot of images and comments about self love. Not the kind like look at me ooh ooh I’m so pretty, but the celebration kind, like I’m beautiful no matter how my stomach looks when I sit, the kind that celebrates worthiness, and a beauty found in facing hard things. In my own personal experience I know I used clothes to hide my insecurities, not just my physical flaws, but also the ones I was struggling with on the inside. I recently posted about how I struggled with postpartum depression. There is only one or two people that might know that I was hurting on the inside, but for the most part I just covered it up with a can do attitude, half hearted smile and an I’m ok response whenever anyone asked me how I was doing. On top of all of that I was treating my body like trash. And I was trapped in a vicious cycle of never feeling like enough and that things would never change. I would always be like this so I might as well just get comfortable with it. Eww!

I recently had the joy of seeing my niece born a couple months ago. We all know how babies are born so let’s just cut to the chase WHAT IN THE WORLD!! Women’s bodies are AMAZING! We should celebrate our bodies! First of all I have been blessed to carry three babies in this body of mine, yes I said three, and yes I only have two children earth side. Carrying babies alone is miraculous, if that doesn’t make you believe in Jesus, I’m not sure what will. The creation of life itself is pretty mind blowing. Then the process of bringing life into this world is like WOAH! I have been fortunate enough to experience birth naturally, not every woman gets this experience, but I’m a big believer in getting that baby out safe and keeping momma safe not matter what birth experience you have. So that doesn’t change how physically women’s bodies are designed to be warriors, champions, rockstars! And I mean every woman, ones that give birth or not, our bodies are built Ford tough!

Back to fashion I have been going through the process of restocking my wardrobe. This time around I’m not trying to hide my flaws. I’m embracing them. Like I said, three babies have graced my body and I’m perfectly ok with wearing a few battle scars from those experiences. My body is a little lopsided because from what I know my children earth side loved to nestle on my left side, probably listening to my heart beat or maybe there’s just more room over there, I don’t know. Embracing my body instead of hating it and degrading it has been a freeing journey emotionally and in my fashion choices. I don’t buy potato sacks for shirts. I get to buy pants that will last longer and that quite frankly hug me in all the right places. HA! And my favorite part is that I’m finally in a place were I can share things with my sister. And thankfully we are more ok with it now. Along this journey there have been these hidden gems that I never expected (people call them non scale victories). Some of mine have been…my rings fit, my shoes fit better, I’m physically more confident in how I move (I had horrible balance), my blood pressure is amazing. This process has shown me what redemption and restoration look like. I was in the process of destroying my life, but I have been restored, I’m still being restored. Each and every day I take one more step forward and I strike a pose in this new found glory.