On Monday I was reading another blog, the little things we do, and I was inspired to write a letter to Zoë.
Dear Zoë,
One day you will not fit snuggly in my arms. There will be a day when I will have to let you go out into this world. I am terrified of that day and thinking about prolonging it for as long as possible. Then I think about my childhood and all of the events that occurred in it to make me who I am today. I have learned that tragedy can happen without leaving your home. When I was five my mom collapsed in our living room. Her aorta had dissected. She gasped for a breath as she told me to run next door to tell Melinda to call 9-1-1. I was scared, but I ran and the next thing I knew I was watching from across the street as the paramedics wheeled my mom out of our house and drive away with her. Thankfully she survived that trip to the hospital. Unfortunately in 2008 she went in for another surgery on her heart and she didn’t come home. There are plenty other instances that challenged me and pushed me to grow, but those moments will forever be with me. I wish, hope, and pray that you will never experience the pain that I have had to endure. I will shield you and protect you as best I can, but I am stuck feeling lost in thought that eventually you will feel pain. Even now as I watch you cry because you are teething, I comfort you as best I can. I am trying everything in my power to take away the pain, even preemptively, but again I sometimes feel like I fall short. My intentions are to raise you to be strong and independent woman. That was Momma Terry’s mantra for your aunt and me. When you fall down I hope you get up and dust your self off. When you do not succeed I hope you try again. When your feelings get hurt I hope you have the courage to say so. When you are challenged I hope you rise up and face it. When you are faced with fear I hope you are not fearful, because I may not be there, but you are not alone. “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 I promise to be there to comfort you, encourage you, guide you, discipline you, and most of all love you for all of the days I am alive. But always remember if I am not here you are not alone.
Love you with ALL of my heart,
Mom
P.S. Zoë if you have any brothers or sisters this goes for them too.
It is well with my Soul 
This is so beautiful Erin! I love you! It has been so wonderful watching you step into the this role of being a mom! You are strong and brave and I know Zoë will be too! Thanks for sharing! Love you!
Even with grown up babies i can relate to every word! I can tell you that that feeling doesn’t end when they turn 18 and it should help you to understand the depth of your mom’s love for you. So grateful for all that she instilled in you in the time she was given and your careful faithfulness to teach Zoë the same. Romans 8:38 and 39 were the first verses i taught the kids when they were young so that they would be able to recall that truth, regardless of what might lie ahead.
You’re a wonderful mommy. I love you =)