Home

Today I feel at home. For so many years after my mom died and times would get tough I would cry out that I just wanted to go home. Then my sister got married and she called me saying the same thing. Something about not having your mom to run to makes you long for home. The saying goes, “home is where your heart is.” I always believed in that. That no matter where we lived I was at home because I was with the people that I love. But often times I still found myself longing for something or somewhere else. Now I know where my one true home is and it’s not here on Earth.

We were born and raised Californians and when we had Zoë we got this desire to raise her in a different environment. We wanted to offer her a different experience. We were looking for something different too. For our first year anniversary we took a trip to Seattle. That’s when we fell in love with the Pacific Northwest. We ultimately prayed that a door would open up for us to move there, nothing did, BUT an opportunity opened up for Tommy in Minnesota. We stepped out in faith and took a risk. We flew out and immediately fell in love with the city and the Minnesota nice attitude. We spent a year there enjoying the city and going on adventures, trying to make Minneapolis our home. Our families visited and after a year we decided to go back to California. I think ultimately we both missed our families and saw how much Zoë needed to be around family. And then Tommy took the biggest leap of faith and began freelancing. We were home again. After three years and another baby we got the desire to leave again. We still felt unsettled. Needless to say we were still searching for a place to call home, but what I had forgotten was that simple saying, “home is where your heart is”.

I finally realized that my heart is in Heaven. That no matter where I live my life I can be at peace because I know there is a place that I call home. I’m not searching for something I can’t find, I’ve found it and my soul is at peace with that. That’s not to say I don’t desire I different environment for my children. I desire for them to have stability, peace, love, consistency, a place to thrive and find themselves. I desire an environment where they feel safe to try new things, to fail, to learn from their mistakes, to be kids. I desire a home filled with faith, hope and love. But most of all I want them to feel loved and chosen every single day. Honestly I have loved every single place we have called home and each one will hold special memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. My heart still longs for the Pacific Northwest. I pray one day our path leads us there, but until then it is well with my soul.